blogging is therapeutic...
just as therapeutic as listening to gotcha calls on hitz.fm? nah..
my current life is just static.. wif inner monologues running wild in my head plus mainly rubbish tots... but i cant control my brain, my mind... tots just pops out... innner monologue just 'develops'... and its irritating.. u cant stop it.. u onli can when it pops out.. stop it midway.. anen another time it pops up again.. and the cycle continues... yada yada..
LIFE = static + mundane + not-interesting + close-to-penny-less = not blogging? maybe.
everyting is so boring now.. even tis post is freaking boring..
yar.. mushroom head wud say: get a life!
just tot of bloggin bout NOTHING.. as i just read yan nee's blog...
reading her latest post is like her regurgitating how i once felt and sometimes still feel... vomitting out how it all felt.. in gud english... in diff analogies...
sigh.
it happens.
like...
cutting thru ur heart wifout anaesthesia..
or
like ur heart is detached from all the veins and arteries and it just drop 3 inches from its position.. feels like !!!
or
u just dun wanna wake up.. just wanna stay in bed wif the covers over ur head.. wanting to b detached from the world...forcing urself back to sleep.. but u cant.. coz u keep tinking about rubbish.. and at the same time ur heart is hurting, aching... sometimes in denial.. sometimes not...
or
u're doing ur self convincing... telling urself that u're strong.. that tomorrow is gona b a brand new day... then the next day comes, but it dun feel brand new... so u set another new tomorrow for a brand new day.. dun feel that way 2.. and u extend for another tomorrow.. it drags on..
but sum days u do feel half brand new...
having half brand new days is an acheivement..
i dare say i've reached close to 85% of brand new everyday...
but i noe i'm so fragile a small kick can just eat away the 85%.. to 10% not 0%..
anen then it'll take another long time to regain back to 85%..
but sumtimes a small kick is inevitable.. rite? rubbish. me being a bitch in denial.
sucks to noe that ur stupid brain cant answer questions that ur heart is asking..
but isnt it the same blood that the heart pumps to the brain? isnt it connected?
self-analysing.
this is so random and if i type on more i bet there'll b more nonsense to blog about.
Mushroom head: Follow the flow.
Ok. That will do. Will do. Thanx screwed up fren :)
