"Sometimes d past is smth u can't let go of

n

Sometimes d past is smth we do anyting to 4get

n

Sometimes we learn smth new bout d past dat changes everything we noe about the present"

-Grey Anatomy, Season 6, Episode 9, New limits-

hate it when shit happens..
need to crawl into bed and hide under the covers..
to be detached from the real world..
to be as far from reality as possible..
doesnt make a diff to tell the first person that pops into mind..
but it feels better if u do..
wun deny any responsibility..
wudnt defend oneself..
mistakes happens..
shit happens.

tumblr.com

ever heard of it?
love it.
tot of getting one but.. not so creative u noe wif all those words and all those pretty pictures
nice :)
just so my ting.
wonder any1 noes bout it.
but i reckon no1 around me wud b interested.. other than.. baby? hehehe.. hmm..

"In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have & the decisions we waited too long to make”

"My life is proof that mistakes get made. We all stand for something. It's all a matter of who is strongest. Do you crumble under pressure? I don't. We play games with each other like everything is going to end up okay. We are destruction. The epitome of what is darkness. We're all hiding something. The secrets and lies we form our friendships on. Nothing is as important as you make it seem. Your drama is old, your shit is weak. I'll let you all fall behind. I'll give you a taste of the dust you smothered me with.I CAN and WILL overcome. I am strong. With that, I bid you a good day. "

"No matter how hard we try to ignore it or try to deny iteventually the lies fall away, whether we like it or not.But here’s the truth about the truth— it hurts. So, we lie.”

[credits to http://idareyoutoclickthis.tumblr.com/]

hmmm...

sometimes i duno y i do the tings i do.

suddenly miss the long bus ride from melbourne city to the great ocean road

nice.

i feel like slapping myself for not noting to remember its gian wan's bday todai. 7th november.

shits. but it is still 7th nov now... if it wasnt for fb i wud hav totally 4gotten. work has been to bz.. bz week for me.. 8.30-5.30 shift, more like till 6 everyday.. lunch duty... weekend duty... and d stupid forensic test on mon, when i'm suppose to b on my sleeping day..

oh yes, this post is suppose to b bout gian wan heheheh..

anyways, we've gone a long way.. since sem 1... i nvr relli understood y in sem 1 that i went to talk to her.. coz normal michele wudnt bother bout 'gian wan-ness in sem 1'.. hehehe.. but everyting happens for a reason.. and it did prove itself le.. i wudnt 4get the day in the lib when she was thr and she was the appropriate person to inform me and that i din need to feel ashame that rain poured.. and that cud hav just been d reason for sem 1 to 'make up' for sem 5...

i nvr liked it when she started calling me 'woman'.. i always tot !!! but then aft awhile i got use to it.. and i actually miss it now :(

Happi 23rd b'day, WOMAN :)

greys was gud.
it was wow.
not awesome wow.. just wow.
wow surgery.
wow optimism. its like optimism diarrhoea. its optimism beyond... how can any1 hav such optimism. unimaginable. spinal cord tumour + whole family died in war + wife and kids died in smth... and still.. so optimistic? quite impossible.

imagine being in an OT for more than 21 hrs...
imagine having a successful surgery..
imagine how gud it wud hav felt after 21 hrs and the surgery went all well.. all gud..
and the patient that tot he wud b paralyze wasnt and that the tumour was out..
imagine if u were THE doctor..
THE one..
seeing ur patient cry wif joy.. bcoz of wad u did..
u cud hav just been god to him..
wow. that wud hav felt gud wudnt it?
awesomely gud.

but i wudnt noe that..
but i'm not saying that in a sad way..
i mean i noe my limits..
and i wud be 'awesomely feeling gud' in my context.. to be able to counsel well.. dispense well.. wif confidence, knowing ENTIRELY wad i'm doing and saying.... in PROPER chinese and PROPER bm.. ya that wud b MY awesome..
sounds very very kampung next to a spinal cord tumour of coz.. but.. oh well.. :)

hmmm.....
i wonder......
1. how do u handle the adrenaline hype.. and not mess tings up?
2. how do u show that u're confident when u're not? pretend?
3. how does it feel to b meredith while derek explains to her bout the surgery and drew the tumour on the wall? pros and cons?
4. how does the future look like?