People change…..carry on with their own lives when they part wif their frens their families their whoever what-so-ever to go to uni. ….they meet new frens… I guess change is just necessary in order to adapt to the new NEW foreign environment…
People change…I CHANGE.. she change..he change…they change… every1 changing…
BUT… it doesn’t mean I like the way she/he/they change..but who m I to erm..comment on this change…. Who noes she/he/they dun like the way I’ve changed..just the same as I dun like the way she/he/they change….
Every single semester… people around me change bit by bit…bit by bit…
Its kinda weird really… the things is…. If u change to adapt to the new environment u were in…its ok…but now that u’re back..wudn;t it b better if u UNchange and b back to ur old self???...
Its either that..OR… coz I changed…. And I din UNchange me….and coz I’m a changed me… I feel that u din UNchange…and also either the change me is sensitive OR the changed or unchanged… I’ve always been sensitive… hm….
its kinda weird seing sum1 u were once close to being close to sum1 else but to think of it again… I myself hav met other frens 2….who I m close wif so…it’s the same…
its just a weird feeling…not like I despise those close frens….
But I belief those close frens played a role in THE change… but the same goes for me…so I guess its equal….though its not a competition…hmmm…
Theres just things that people do or say recently….that keeps me thinking “wad the fuck was dat all about”….. I feel like blurting it out….
but no… its wrong..
I might not like THE change actually at some point HATE the change then again…..she/he/they might not like MY change..BUT b’coz frens are suppose to accept our frens CHANGED or UNCHANGED…so as a fren… changed drastically or unchanged….I WILL willingly OR maybe reluctantly ACCEPT….serious… b’coz thats wad frens are all about….
Ps: this post is just a lot of mix thoughts and a whole load of rubbish….
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
sleepLESSness....
EXAMS ARE OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…..muahahaha…finally…
Tenk gudness its over… lets just say I’ve was having sum problems during the study break and during the exam week…
1) I cudn;t sleep… coz I was too worried that I cudnt finish every single lecture though I did read once b4..but its just once… I mean theres this mentality that I must finish reading every single lecture all over again…and there not enuf time coz its just less than 24 hrs to the paper…and it feels like I dun rem anything and dun noe anything….PANIC LA…..
a) It was either I had palpitations OR
b) I cudn;t stop tinking of the things that I haven’t read…
THUS…cannot sleep…cannot sleep means tired… and not fully understanding wad I was reading anyways….BUT i tot since I can’t sleep then read la… just blardy PEK CHEK k… I want to sleep so badly my eyes so tired…but I cudn;t…..I just cudn;t… felt so…upsetting and everyting….
2) and suddenly most of the food smelt funny…even tasted funny..and yucky…therefore no appetite… and felt like vomiting most of the time I c food….shit like “peh kia”…and oreo became my best friend..
3) and I was quite scared, and panic too much that I was sorta shivering when I was studying…it wasn’t the super super shivering just a mild one..but it so distracting..i can’t control it….aiti….HELL…..
there came to an extent that on erm…one paper I had to take a flu medicine that was sedative so I cud sleep…anen when I woke up I bcame light headed instead..so abit blur and the renal paper..that day just suck big time…
shhesssh…and I;m not making this all up ok….
Coz of there 3 reasons… and also coz my mom is in china… and its expensive to call me…and I also din really wanna talk to her coz… just tot it might pressure me more…
i was cranky and was down......and just was sucky…..and…. intentionally or unintentionally… I did tell a few of the ppl that I cudn;t sleep and stuff…. But I tink at the end most of the ppl from my batch knew….
I noe theres quite a number of ppl that was like afraid that I might complain to them..and stuff and that if I complained…..i wud waste their precious study time..so oh well…I can’t change wad ppl think…but screw them…
I just was so down I tot I was having depression ..sigh…. I was just trying to reach out for alil bit of comfort….thats all..SO HARD MEH…SAY A FEW ENCOURAGING WORDS…will die one is it….
There are those ppl..that I’msure were thinking…” we also going through the same thing…. She also going through the same thing…we hafta read the same amount of lecture..she also hafta read the same amount of lecture…so WAD THE HECK IS SHE MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT ABOUT”…..yup, I’m sure A LOT of ppl were thinking dat way….sigh.. its hard to explain to ppl wad I’m going through like I said b4 just trying to reach out for sum comfort….some surely think that I’m like an attention seeker…trying to get attention…but EXCUSE ME…its exam time.. if I wan attention I wud do it b4 the exams..i can get MORE ATTENTION that time k…. sori ler ho ..b4 or aft exam I m NO attention seeker anyways….! There were sum ppl that I din even hafta to tell them wad I was going through..or just complain to them and stuff… they cud tell from my face and they actually sms just to encourage me… YOU C…. that’s wad real fren are all about k….tenks Elaine…
I seriously dun care wad all those RUBBISH ppl were thinking ler….
But from all of this, I cud really differentiate REAL frens…. And it change my view about a few ppl…. In a gud and bad way….
And suddenly when I say tenk u 2 ppl..i really mean THANK YOU from the heart..not just simply tenk u..i really freaking mean the thank u…..there a lot of ppl I really wanan tenk….its along list…but just gonna name them all…really appreciate the small things or big help or just a few words of encouragement…. It really helped….
Theres…Bee lian…tenks a lot…i bug her wif so many sms….any1 wud hav ignored me but she din….tenks again….
Theres Chia woon…. I was so nervous and scared and she let me study wif her 4 the microb paper… from around 10 at night till around 7 the next morning….so supportive…im so grateful…
Theres Joanna… she gav me sum vit c and some relaxant tablets..and asked me to pray…and she msg me to tell me that I can do it and its ok….
Theres Elaine that sent me forwarded msges just to encourage me..
Theres my housemates Hui Suan that wake up at 4.30am twice coz I ask her to call me to wake up coz I was taking the sedative medicine and was afraid I cudn;t wake up although both times..i woke up earlier than her…heehhe…
Theres Ping Wei….tenks for asking me how I m..and for the hug and for the bible quotes…it really helped a lot…
Theres Amelia and Ben…who came to my vista on sat night to visit me to c that I was ok… aiyok…so touching….gav me chocolate with a note saying “ the roots of education are bitter but the fruits are sweet!” just to cheer my up…
Tenk gudness its over… lets just say I’ve was having sum problems during the study break and during the exam week…
1) I cudn;t sleep… coz I was too worried that I cudnt finish every single lecture though I did read once b4..but its just once… I mean theres this mentality that I must finish reading every single lecture all over again…and there not enuf time coz its just less than 24 hrs to the paper…and it feels like I dun rem anything and dun noe anything….PANIC LA…..
a) It was either I had palpitations OR
b) I cudn;t stop tinking of the things that I haven’t read…
THUS…cannot sleep…cannot sleep means tired… and not fully understanding wad I was reading anyways….BUT i tot since I can’t sleep then read la… just blardy PEK CHEK k… I want to sleep so badly my eyes so tired…but I cudn;t…..I just cudn;t… felt so…upsetting and everyting….
2) and suddenly most of the food smelt funny…even tasted funny..and yucky…therefore no appetite… and felt like vomiting most of the time I c food….shit like “peh kia”…and oreo became my best friend..
3) and I was quite scared, and panic too much that I was sorta shivering when I was studying…it wasn’t the super super shivering just a mild one..but it so distracting..i can’t control it….aiti….HELL…..
there came to an extent that on erm…one paper I had to take a flu medicine that was sedative so I cud sleep…anen when I woke up I bcame light headed instead..so abit blur and the renal paper..that day just suck big time…
shhesssh…and I;m not making this all up ok….
Coz of there 3 reasons… and also coz my mom is in china… and its expensive to call me…and I also din really wanna talk to her coz… just tot it might pressure me more…
i was cranky and was down......and just was sucky…..and…. intentionally or unintentionally… I did tell a few of the ppl that I cudn;t sleep and stuff…. But I tink at the end most of the ppl from my batch knew….
I noe theres quite a number of ppl that was like afraid that I might complain to them..and stuff and that if I complained…..i wud waste their precious study time..so oh well…I can’t change wad ppl think…but screw them…
I just was so down I tot I was having depression ..sigh…. I was just trying to reach out for alil bit of comfort….thats all..SO HARD MEH…SAY A FEW ENCOURAGING WORDS…will die one is it….
There are those ppl..that I’msure were thinking…” we also going through the same thing…. She also going through the same thing…we hafta read the same amount of lecture..she also hafta read the same amount of lecture…so WAD THE HECK IS SHE MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT ABOUT”…..yup, I’m sure A LOT of ppl were thinking dat way….sigh.. its hard to explain to ppl wad I’m going through like I said b4 just trying to reach out for sum comfort….some surely think that I’m like an attention seeker…trying to get attention…but EXCUSE ME…its exam time.. if I wan attention I wud do it b4 the exams..i can get MORE ATTENTION that time k…. sori ler ho ..b4 or aft exam I m NO attention seeker anyways….! There were sum ppl that I din even hafta to tell them wad I was going through..or just complain to them and stuff… they cud tell from my face and they actually sms just to encourage me… YOU C…. that’s wad real fren are all about k….tenks Elaine…
I seriously dun care wad all those RUBBISH ppl were thinking ler….
But from all of this, I cud really differentiate REAL frens…. And it change my view about a few ppl…. In a gud and bad way….
And suddenly when I say tenk u 2 ppl..i really mean THANK YOU from the heart..not just simply tenk u..i really freaking mean the thank u…..there a lot of ppl I really wanan tenk….its along list…but just gonna name them all…really appreciate the small things or big help or just a few words of encouragement…. It really helped….
Theres…Bee lian…tenks a lot…i bug her wif so many sms….any1 wud hav ignored me but she din….tenks again….
Theres Chia woon…. I was so nervous and scared and she let me study wif her 4 the microb paper… from around 10 at night till around 7 the next morning….so supportive…im so grateful…
Theres Joanna… she gav me sum vit c and some relaxant tablets..and asked me to pray…and she msg me to tell me that I can do it and its ok….
Theres Elaine that sent me forwarded msges just to encourage me..
Theres my housemates Hui Suan that wake up at 4.30am twice coz I ask her to call me to wake up coz I was taking the sedative medicine and was afraid I cudn;t wake up although both times..i woke up earlier than her…heehhe…
Theres Ping Wei….tenks for asking me how I m..and for the hug and for the bible quotes…it really helped a lot…
Theres Amelia and Ben…who came to my vista on sat night to visit me to c that I was ok… aiyok…so touching….gav me chocolate with a note saying “ the roots of education are bitter but the fruits are sweet!” just to cheer my up…
Theres my other two housemates, s. chung and Suisse that brought me dinner that they cook in another frens place...yumm yumm…nice..tenks…
And the rest…..ee fen, laura, ser li, ying wa, ah mai, lay chin, andy, hui xin and I also duno who already…. The point is…TENKS A LOT…..
I also duno wether I was having depression or wad….ben says its anxiety…hmm I guess it is…..sigh….. uek who wud hav tot Michele wud b like this… hmmm….
Cudn;t help it…. I dun care wad ppl tot of me that time and will tink of me..in the future…its until u’ve gone through it urself that u’ll understand how bad and sucky it was…that’s all I can say…. Step into my shoes and u’ll understand…
my countdown board.....
damn the exams....so busy..damn bpharm stupid course so damn busy....so freaking busy studying that i hav no time for grey's anatomy... no time to condition my hair properly.... din even hav time to shave hehehe...shit.. din even hafta time to pick ear rings...
these are not excuses k..... i noe ler..
other ppl study pharmacy i study pharmacy..how come other ppl not so busy i so busy....
ppl say after u've gone through form6 then wud b easier...
hmm...dun tink so!!! hm..come to bpharm ler...we pay less than mpharm but we study more..and we wil die faster also...uek..
new blogskin..dun like it but its betta than the other dull blue one...will blogging more often since its hols now...HURRAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! kolo mee!! sio bee!! home!!...
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